Every time I look in the mirror, I ask myself two things. One, can I really be losing hair this quickly? Two, am I having a breakdown? The answer to the first question is an unequivocal “yes”. One of the great mysteries of life is just where has it gone to though? My hair doesn’t come out in huge clumps and gather round the plughole when I shower. Nor does there seem to have been a mass follicle ejection onto my bed sheets at night. Quite frankly it’s akin to the conundrum of just where the fuck do my socks disappear to when I put them in the washing machine? A pair goes in but just one comes out.

Those that know me might arrive at the answer to the second question somewhat quicker than I have. I suppose by most people’s reckoning, I am a fruitcake. For example, and contrary to popular belief, I don’t accept that the 9/11 terror attacks and subsequent stand down of the most sophisticated air force in the world was masterminded by a man in a cave. Likewise, I am certain that elections are nothing other than an illusion of choice and of freedom – a Punch and Judy show, if you will. I also suspect that the cure for many modern diseases are being deliberately suppressed, I am certain that people are being systematically dumbed down by all manner of means and every inch of my being feels that extra-terrestrials continue to visit this planet for benevolent and malevolent means. Quite frankly, that doesn’t even scratch the surface of what I believe or don’t believe. To me, it seems that most people are willing to accept pretty much anything they’re told, especially if it is consensus and even more so, if the media says it’s so. Given that the media is, by and large, controlled by the very same people who control big business, banks who create money out of thin air and the governments who we falsely perceive to hold power, then this is really quite frightening.

You know what. I am not crazy. The headache I have right now is rooted in exasperation. I cannot for the life of me understand why more people do not question everything. Right now, many every day people think that President Bashar al-Assad has unquestionably gassed his own people. This, in spite of admissions from the “rebels” that the attack was a result of their mishandling of chemical weapons. And just who are these rebels anyway? Al-Qaeda, by all accounts. Most people seem to believe that Al Qaeda is a terrorist group responsible for a great many atrocities, chief among them, 9/11. However, there’s plenty of evidence to suggest that Al Qaeda is, in fact, a creation of the West. Robin Cook, the now deceased former UK foreign secretary, once revealed its true origins and then conveniently met his maker shortly after, just as many others who have had the misfortune to say something “different” have also.

“Bin Laden was, though, a product of a monumental miscalculation by Western security agencies. Throughout the 80s he was armed by the CIA and funded by the Saudis to wage jihad against the Russian occupation of Afghanistan. Al Qaeda, literally “the database”, was originally the computer file of the thousands of mujahideen who were recruited and trained with help from the CIA to defeat the Russians”.

Obama’s photo slide show of Syria’s sarin gas victims is no proof of Assad’s culpability either. And if he’s so keen to show photos, where are those that show Bin Laden’s dead body? Apparently, the administration won’t release these “very graphic” images as people might find them disturbing. Aren’t the photos of the sarin gas victims similarly disturbing? Could it be that Bin Laden actually copped it way back when, just as Benazir Bhutto once let slip? She was assassinated one month after making these revelations. Mr Cook also died in the Scottish highlands roughly one month after his CIA/Al Qaeda statement.

Anyway, I’d like to know why there was no photo slide show when Palestinian children were burned to death by white phosphorous shells fired on Gaza residential areas by Jewish soldiers. Why is it okay for Israel to possess nuclear weapons and not Iran? Why did people engage in mass protests when South Africa was an apartheid state but sit idly by when the state of Palestine faced (and continues to face) even harsher realities? Why don’t they turn the channel tunnel into a giant bowling alley? It would make more sense than most political decisions.

This is why I have no hair. I have no hair for I despair and all I want is the truth. Luckily for me, the missus is also a nutter and encouraged me to write this down. Now where’s my turquoise tracksuit?….